Too Close to the Sun
by EponineOnMyOwnThenardier
Summary: To Natalie, drugs are like the shore , when she's high, she doesn't have to worry about staying afloat. Jimmy was like a lighthouse, guiding her to that. But did he really know best? Or was he just as messed up as she was? Could she piece herself together without the drugs? Rating for drug use, language, and any other situations that may arise.
1. St Jimmy

((AN: Alright, so, one day the idea that St. Jimmy and Natalie would get along. Before I start the story, I would like to say that the POV of chapters is going to change. I know now that some chapters will be from Natalie's POV, some from Whatsername's, and some from Henry's. I'm trying to decide if I want to include St. Jimmy/ Johnny. That's honestly a question I'm struggling with at the moment. I guess we'll all see! I'd also like to cover something, I do not see St. Jimmy as an actual, physical person. I see him sort of as Johnny's version of Gabe, except also an alter ego. So, when I say Jimmy in the story, it's still Johnny, but it's like he's letting his alter ego take control. Hopefully that makes sense. Anyway! I do not own Next to Normal or American Idiot or any of the characters therein. I am merely a fan. However, I do own this plot, this is all the product of my mind. And if I create any OCs, I own those too. Also, this first chapter is dedicated to my friend, Jocelyn. I spent a few hours trying different methods of opening up this story before she gave me an idea I could work with. ))

**Henry's POV**

My eyes flew open at the sound of my phone going off. Natalie calling again. I sat up, picking it up and looked at the numbers glowing in the alarm clock on my nightstand. Two AM. I sighed, finally hitting answer and holding the phone to my ear. "Natalie?" I asked, standing and attempting to locate my shoes.

"Henry?" Her speech came out slurred.

"Where are you?" I asked her, knowing that's why she was calling me. She was stranded at some club and needed a ride home.

"Electra's," she answered. I could hear another voice nearby, a male voice. It sounded like they were outside. Then she was speaking to him. "No, no, he's coming to get me… "She paused, directing her next few words to me. "You're coming to get, me right?"

By this point I had my shoes on and was in the process of getting my keys. "I'm on my way," I promised. "I'll be there as quickly as I can. I love you."

"See you soon, Henry," She said, hanging up the phone. I hadn't expected her to say 'I love you' back. It was hard enough for her to admit her feelings when she was sober. Now she was in a darker place. She was struggling just to keep herself going. I couldn't help but to feel a bit of guilt for everything. I was the one who made her think that drugs were the solution to her problems. In my defense, I hadn't known that she would take things so far. I hadn't had the slightest clue that she would start popping her mom's old pills and running off to clubs every night. She couldn't be getting enough sleep. I didn't even know how she could possible function day to day…

I pushed the thoughts away as I got into my car, starting the engine and pulling out of my driveway as quietly as I possibly could. My parents didn't know I was sneaking out nearly every night to go save some girl at whatever club she'd stumbled into that night. If they did they'd put a stop to it. Which was why I had to make sure they never did find out. As long as Natalie kept this up, I had to be there to catch her. I couldn't just leave her out there to fend for herself. There were too many things that could go wrong.

Thankfully, the roads were mostly empty. I sped a bit, consistently driving at least ten miles per hour over the speed limit. Every minute away from Natalie, knowing she was waiting outside of some club made me increasingly nervous, my heart pounding in my chest. When I got there it couldn't be soon enough. I pulled up to the curb and cut the engine, not caring whether or not it was legal to park there. I could see her now. She was sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against the wall of the club. There was some guy there with her. I assumed he was the same person I heard when we were on the phone.

"Natalie!" I called out, running over to her. Her head snapped up, eyes locking on me when she heard my voice. I couldn't help but notice she almost looked disappointed. She turned to look at the other guy again, taking something he held out to her and slipping it into her bag. Finally, she made her way to her feet and walked over to me. I put an arm around her for support as I looked down at her. Her pupils were huge, the irises barely visible. I looked away quickly, leading her back to the car. She stumbled a few times along the way, but I held her up, ignoring the giggles that followed. When we finally reached the car, I opened the passenger side door for her, shutting it once she was inside, then went around to the driver's side and got in myself.

We rode in silence for a few minutes. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the way she was twitching, adjusting her seatbelt, running her hands through her hair, tapping her fingers against the window. Finally, I decided I had to ask her the questions that were running through my mind.

"What are you on right now, Nat?" Silence in response. I sighed, deciding to try another question. "Who was that guy?"

"Jimmy," She answered, almost as if it were obvious. Like I should have known him.

"Jimmy?" I questioned. I hadn't looked at him very closely when I got to the club. Could he have been someone we went to school with?

"St. Jimmy," She responded, a sort of awe present in her voice. I glanced over at her, able to see it reflected in her eyes as well. So I was no more informed than I had been a moment before…

"What did he give you?" I asked, staring intently at the road.

"Hmm?" Was her only response. As if she had no clue what I was talking about.

"Before we got in the car. You put it in your bag. What was it?" The silence now was uncomfortable. She didn't want me to know. She was drumming her fingers more rapidly against the window now, eyes darting around the car, searching for some distraction. Luckily for her we were outside of her house now.

"Goodnight, Henry, "she said abruptly, getting out of the car. She slammed the door shut and began on her way toward the front door, not giving me a chance to respond. I sighed and watched in silence until she entered the house. Once the door had been closed I turned back to the road and began the drive home, hoping to get a few more hours of sleep before school.

((AN: That's it for this chapter! Review to let me know what you think. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon!))


	2. Downward Spiral

((AN: Still no ownership of American Idiot or Next to Normal. Still the owner of this idea. Reviews still appreciated. There of talk of doing drugs in this chapter, but nothing detailed because: a) this is only rated T, and b)I honestly don't know much about how heroin is done. Like, the preparation. Or, about heroin at all… All of my information is gained through research. So, I stuck to being vague! ))

**Natalie's POV**

I groaned when my alarm clock went off at 7:30, slamming my hand down on the top and hoping I hit the off button. I don't think I'd even been asleep for an hour, but I was up now. I had thirty minutes to get ready for school. That was if I didn't get caught in traffic once I left. I sighed, forcing myself into a sitting position. My head was spinning, I could barely keep my eyes open. I could vaguely remember Jimmy saying something last night about fatigue. He said the heroin would help with that. I couldn't go to school high. That was crazy… Then again, driving to school like this wouldn't be possible… I stood and grabbed my purse, pulling the small plastic bag out. Just a little bit would be okay. It would help me get through the day. I wouldn't do all of it. Just enough to get me through.

It didn't take long. I could feel it in my blood stream soon enough, waking me up. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the buzzing feeling take me over, enjoying the added energy. While getting ready for school seemed like an impossible task only minutes before, it was definitely manageable now. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, grabbed my backpack, and was out to my car just in time. There was a little traffic, but it wasn't too bad. I made it to school before the first tardy bell rang, at least.

I shut the engine off and got out of my car, heading straight to my locker. Henry was there. I sighed, working wordlessly on undoing the lock. I could feel him staring. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something. I didn't plan on it though. He could stand there and stare for as long as he wanted, I knew what he wanted to talk about, he wanted to question me about last night, and I wasn't in the mood for it.

"Hey," he said softly when he realized I wasn't going to start talking on my own.

Getting the locker open, I turned to look at him. "I don't want to talk, "I snapped impatiently. "Class starts in like, two minutes, you should go," I turned back to my locker as I finished talking, trying to focus on pulling out the things I needed for my morning classes. To my surprise, Henry grabbed my arm, turning me around to face him again. I dropped the book out of surprise, vaguely satisfied that it landed on his foot, though he didn't react. "What the he-"

"Nat, you're on something now." It wasn't a question. It was a statement, full of disbelief, and frustration, and anger. I stared up at him with wide eyes. He was about to keep talking. I clamped a hand over his mouth desperately, casting a glance around the mostly empty hallway, afraid someone might have overheard.

"What the fuck is wrong with you! Shut up, you're going to get me in trouble!" The words came out in a frantic, almost whisper. I continued to hold my hand over his mouth for a moment, staring up into his eyes. Finally, I let him go, bending to pick up my book with a sigh. When I straightened up again I could tell he wasn't going to just let it go. I turned away, starting to shove books into my bag without paying much attention to which books I actually needed and which I was grabbing just because of their proximity and my desire to do something.

"Natalie, you can't keep doing this. At least tell me what you're on…" His voice was gentle, calm. I still couldn't take it. I slammed my locker shut, whirling around to look at him. He almost looked afraid now.

"You know what, Henry?" I snapped back, shouting now. "I don't have to answer to you, okay! I don't have to answer your stupid questions! So you should just go! I don't need you here doing this to me!"

I could see that he was hurt now. There was anger and pain in his eyes. "You don't need me here? " He replied, trying to keep his voice level and below a shout, though it shook with the effort. "Fine. But next time you're at a club and you need someone to take you home, find someone else. "He turned away then, starting off down the hallway.

"Fine! "I shouted after him. "Fine, I won't!" My voice was mostly drowned out by the tardy bell that was ringing now, but I was fairly sure he heard me. I shut my eyes tightly, sinking back against my locker. _I don't need him. He's just a pain in the ass lately anyway. I'm fine by myself. _ I shook my head angrily. No matter how many times I told myself that, part of me wasn't going to believe it. Part of me wanted Henry here, held at arm's length maybe, but close enough to come running when I called.

I pushed myself away from the lockers, turned to face them, and kicked one a few times. In the end, my foot hurt more than anything, but I had succeeded in leaving a dent in the metal. For a few minutes I could only stand there, staring at it. I didn't care if I'd be marked absent or if dad would be called, I couldn't stay here. I felt trapped.

I turned around and headed for the parking lot, walking with measured and meaningful steps. Nothing would get you caught faster than looking like you were somewhere you shouldn't be. Once I was outside of the building and to the parking lot, I dashed toward my car, stopping in my tracks when I noticed someone leaning against the gate.

I glanced back at the school for a moment. No one had followed me out. I took a deep breath and looked back at the figure at the other end of the parking lot before approaching him. I reached silently into my pocket, fingers curling around the cash I hadn't had to give to him the previous night. Finally, I pulled it out and handed it to him as inconspicuously as I could. I slid my hand back into my pocket as soon as he'd taken the cash, wanting to look casual. For a few moments we both just stared at the school. Finally, I turned to look at him. Jimmy. _St. Jimmy. _"Did you just plan on waiting here all day?" I asked in a quiet voice. He simply shrugged in response. I watched his face for a moment, noting how I could see him much more clearly now. I bit my lip, having a moment of internal debate, then pulled more cash out of my pocket, holding it out to him. He looked at the money for a moment, then back up at my face, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Do you have any more?" I asked, voice slightly louder than it had been a few moments before. There was nothing I needed more than to get fucked up at a moment like this.

His questioning expression quickly became a smirk. It was almost challenging, almost made me feel like I'd asked a stupid question. "You got a car?" He finally responded.

"Yeah," I answered, a little confused. I pointed in the direction of my beat up old car. " The Accord." He nodded in response, striding over to the car. After a moment of shock, I followed, unlocking the door and getting in. I fastened my seatbelt in silence, noting that he left his off, and quickly adjusted the rearview mirror before finally turning to look at him. "Where are we going?"

((AN: I gave Natalie my car. I didn't realize until I was done writing. Ha. ))


End file.
